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This story happened about a month ago in a little town in Louisiana, and even when it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale it's real.
This guy was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm.
The night passed slowly and no cars went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.
Suddenly he saw a car slowly looming, ghostlike, out of the gloom.
It slowly crept toward him and stopped. Reflexively, the guy gets into the car and closes the door, then realized that there was nobody behind the wheel.
The car slowly starts moving again. The guy is terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy sees that the car is slowly approaching a sharp curve. The guy starts to pray, begging for his life, sure the ghost car will go off the road and he will plunge to his death when, just before the curve, a hand appears thru the window and turns the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend.
Paralyzed with terror, the guy watches the hand re-appear every time they reach a curve.
Finally, the guy gathers his wits and leaps from the car, and runs to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he goes to a bar and, voice quavering, orders two shots of whiskey, and tells everybody about his horrible, supernatural experience. A silence envelopes everybody when they realize the guy is apparently sane and not drunk.
About half an hour later two guys walked in the same bar. One says to the other, "Look Bubba, that's the idiot that rode in our car when we were pushing it."

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A car sped off the highway, went through the guardrail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop. A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck. "Good lord, mister," he gasped, "are you drunk?" "Of course," said the man, brushing the dirt from his suit. "What the hell do you think I am -- a freaking stunt driver?"

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Two men are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a State Trooper.
The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.
The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?"
The cop answers, "You're in Texas, Son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready
when we get to your car."
The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here."
The cop runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean.
He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window.
The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
The passenger asks, "What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wish come true."
The passenger asks, "Making what wish come true?"
The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say to your buddy,
"I wish that asshole would've tried that shit with me! "

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BUMPER STICKERS

1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
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2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
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3. If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.
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4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
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5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
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6. Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.
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7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
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8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
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9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.
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10. To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
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11. If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling!
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12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
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13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
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14. Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
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15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
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16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
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17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
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18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home
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19. I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
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20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
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21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
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22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
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23. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
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24. The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
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26. Illiterate? Write For Help
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27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
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28. Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes
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29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
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30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
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31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
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32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
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33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand basket?
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37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...
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38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
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39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen upside down on a jeep]
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40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Are Also Timed for 70 mph.
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41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
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43. Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
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44. Ax Me About Ebonics
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45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
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46. Boldly Going Nowhere
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47. Cat: The Other White Meat
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48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
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49. Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
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50. Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
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51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He
Admits He is lost?
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53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
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54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
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55. Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
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56. My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
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57. GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
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58. All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
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59. Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them
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60. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
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61. WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
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62. BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
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63. So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
64. I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
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65. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

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